Caring for an Elderly Relative: How to Get Paid, Find Support, and Avoid Burnout

When you’re caring for an elderly relative, providing daily help to a family member who can no longer manage on their own, it’s not just a job—it’s a full-time commitment that often comes with emotional weight, financial strain, and little recognition. Many people assume they have to do it alone, but that’s not true. There are ways to get paid, connect with others, and protect your own health while doing it.

Paid family caregiver, someone who receives financial support from state or federal programs to care for a relative isn’t a myth. In many states, including through Medicaid waivers, you can get a paycheck for helping your parent, spouse, or sibling with bathing, medication, meals, or mobility. It’s not a lot, but it helps cover gas, groceries, or even a break. You don’t need to be a nurse—just someone willing to show up. The trick is knowing where to look. Local Area Agencies on Aging or your county’s social services office can point you to programs like Cash and Counseling or Personal Care Attendant services.

And you’re not the only one feeling overwhelmed. Local support group, a regular meeting of people going through similar caregiving challenges can be a lifeline. These aren’t fancy events—they’re often held in church basements, community centers, or even Zoom rooms. You’ll hear real stories: how someone managed their parent’s dementia, how another got respite care, how someone finally said no to doing everything alone. These groups don’t fix everything, but they remind you that you’re not broken for feeling tired.

It’s easy to keep going until you hit a wall. That’s why knowing when to step back matters. Volunteer burnout, the exhaustion that comes from giving too much without support isn’t just about being tired—it’s about losing your sense of self. If you’re skipping meals, forgetting appointments, or snapping at people you love, it’s not weakness. It’s a signal. The same people who help you find government pay also know where to find short-term help: home health aides, adult day care, or even a few hours of respite from a volunteer network.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to do it all. And you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting a life of your own. The people in the posts below have been there. They’ve applied for Medicaid waivers, found support groups in Somerset and Devon, learned how to say no without shame, and figured out how to get help without waiting for a crisis. What you’ll find here isn’t theory—it’s what works for real people in real situations. Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been at it for years, there’s something here that will make your next step easier.